Why do we always feel compelled to have the last word? That somehow if we don’t speak last, our thoughts and opinions will hold less value. We have come to believe that out-talking equates out-smarting, out-witting, and out-righting. We sometimes minimize our relationships for the sake of speaking our truths.
But what if, we decide to remain silent to preserve our relationships? What if we took the road of humility to allow the other person to speak last?
Sometimes silence is truly golden - not just for the you, but for the other person. Imagine how strengthened our relationships could be if we listened to empathize, but not listened to respond. Sometimes I reflect on how much more important it is to remain reticent than it is to focus on being right and recognizing the damage speaking will do to my relationships than if I argued my point. Ultimately, we cannot undue what we say.
Not arguing or coming back is believed to be a sign of meekness when in reality - it isn’t. Meekness is strength under control, in which learning to control oneself is one of the greatest forms of courage.
Before you speak out, I call on you to consider the following:
⁃ Channel positivity: I encourage you to rise above the negativity and not allow yourself to be swept and consumed by the hype associated with the negative interactions. Be positive in the moment and refrain from speaking out of anger and frustration.
⁃ Be aware of your timing: Sometimes it is better to take time before responding. Taking the minute (or a day) to collect your thoughts and manage your emotions might provide the space to empathize and see it from their perspective.
⁃ Not everything warrants a response: Sometimes, things are just left better unsaid and don’t require you to put forth energy to respond. Allow others to sit with the conversation and interaction without you expending any additional energy. Sometimes no response is the best response.
So remember responses are not always necessary, learn to listen more and speak less.